May 11, 2015
March 17, 2014
GOALS GET PEOPLE FIRED UP AND INSPIRED
By Herbert Mtowo
I am sure we all heard of the old statement that goes: “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink”. Is this true? How would you motivate the horse to drink? What is motivation? How do you get motivation to work? There is so much theory on motivation but what works in the real world, but I am sure we can look at it from various angles, and probably debate about it forever. But the point is, inspiring others
Herbert Mtowo
Motivation is the reason for acting a certain way. It’s the desire to do something for a desired outcome.
Goals motivate us as does fear, pain, pleasure, along with a whole host of other reasons. If we know these things motivate us, how do we use this for the good of those around us? How do we get people to do the right things for the right reasons, even when they think differently?
In the old saying above about the horse, there are a few ways to motivate the horse to drink. You can work him thereby creating a thirst or you could add salt to his feed or you could do both. Now when you lead him to the water, he will drink on his own, problem solved. You just had to get him thirsty enough to want to drink on his own!
In the case of people, we need to make them thirsty enough to want to do what is best in order to get them to act in their self-interest. You just need to add salt! Your salt should be whatever motivates those you are concerned about. It might be money, things, food and shelter or it could be recognition, peer approval, etc. It could also be all of these things.
Our job is to find out what motivates those around us and work with them to help them reach their full potential. By helping them reach their goals they will inadvertently help us reach our goals. Make sure that you totally focus on their goals.
As I have set and talked to many of my friends in the sales and estate business, most of them admit openly that, to survive one has to be highly motivated and have loads of inspiration to survive and make it in the field. One of them clearly laid it out for me by saying, if you are working with someone in estates, pressuring them to reach their quota is the old method that really doesn’t work for everyone involved. They may reach their quota but they resent the pressure. Why not take time, to find out what their goals are and help them to see that it will take so many calls, letters, follow-up, etc., to get enough appointments to make enough sales to earn enough to reach their goals, doesn’t that sound much better?
You were born a winner and a champion, get motivated to live the life you deserve and help others to get motivated as well!
September 4, 2013
Love dynamics and compatibility
by Herbert Mtowo
Are you compatible with your partner? Not sure if he’s the one? Are you curious to know where this relationship is going…? WITHOUT having to ask, embarrass yourself or beg for answers? Or maybe, like lots of other women, you simply HATE wasting time in a relationship that is NOT going to go all the way… and you simply want to make sure you move on until you find the ONE man who will!
In this article I’m going to share with you the real secret to finding out if you are compatible from a love standpoint… without having to waste weeks, months or even YEARS in a relationship that isn’t worth the trip… 🙂
And with a bit of luck, if you are willing to be a bit ADVENTUROUS when it comes to your heart and spirit, you’ll be able to use the exact SAME secret strategy in your next relationship as well. (Only if of course, it turns out the one you’re in is NOT the right one… 🙂 Are you curious to know more? Continue reading as we take a closer look below!
Love energy and more
Did you know that love has energy? A REAL emotional vibration that can be measured quantified and even observed by those of us sensitive enough to see it? It’s true… all emotions have a unique vibration, very similar to a fingerprint. And when you are in love, and that love is reciprocated, there is a GENUINE connection that an emotional empathy (or “love intuitive”) can see, read and discern to validate your compatibility… or the lack thereof.
Sounds silly to you? It does to LOTS of people… 🙂 But believe it or not, this is stuff that is being studied by science, now… in MANY different domains.
Aura’s such as, once thought to be silly and new age, are now being called “subtle energies” and being studied as a central idea behind Quantum physics, with the notion being that ALL of us are made up mostly of energy… and that we VIBRATE at different frequencies depending on the emotions we feel. (this is the very SAME thing psychics have said for hundreds of years)
Did you know that people DEEPLY in love are being studied by science as well? They are finding that TRUE love has a resonance, and an electrical current that can be measured… where poking and prodding ONE person in love in one room, can result in effects in the OTHER persons in love in another room. (Very cool stuff… and more evidence that our hearts and minds are LINKED, when we are in love, much more than most skeptics will admit)
When you are in love, you have a subtle energy, or an aura that vibrates at a certain frequency ONLY when the object of your affection feels the very same way. Of course you CAN be in love with a partner who doesn’t feel the same way… and having a love reading, with an authentic emotional empathy or intuitive is the very BEST way to see that, without asking, wasting time on someone who WON’T love you back… or asking and embarrassing yourself to boot!
September 22, 2011
TURNING YOUR DREAMS INTO REALITY
By Herbert Mtowo
HERBERT PRINCE MTOWO
A few months ago I set and spoke to one of my precious childhood friend In Pretoria, Gibson by name. As he narrated to me, saying,” You have always had a passion in Writing,”, back then I was involved in Sunday school and Youths drama acting at church, poetry and etc related. What a friend and brother you are to me, its been along walk you know what I have gone through. But today I look back and say waal, thank God that I just didn’t keep dreaming but turned my dreaming into action, am sitting at the verge of something big unfolding. God has given me precious friends and lovely wonderful people. Dreaming and thinking about achieving big things is inspiring. But such positive thinking is effective only when you take an action. You might have all the knowledge in the world to do a particular thing but what is the use of that knowledge unless you act upon it?
After all, knowledge and skills can remain only pieces of information stored in your mind if you sit idle and do not utilize them to achieve your goal. Simply having knowledge and good thoughts will not take you anywhere. So in order to achieve your desired results and experience the personal development you would like to see in yourself, you have to combine knowledge with the necessary action. I recently have had a wonderful discussion and talk with Sylvia-In U.S.A, and how amazing God connects me to people of like passions. These around me are people who aren’t just dreaming but acting big, you have a big heart Sylvia and its good to have people like you dwarfing my dreams hey..
Self help is the best fuel for growth
Of course, you need to have the vision in your mind regarding where you want to see yourself in the future. But all those thoughts and vision require conscious action from your side to turn your dreams into reality. Remember even the most successful people would not have reached their milestones without taking action. Many of us avoid taking the initiative because of fear of losing. But keep in mind that the ultimate failure is not losing. Rather failure is the malady of not trying at all. So take action no matter how small it is. You will be amazed to see that even the smallest of self help actions can have an impact. The idea is to keep moving forward.
Choose the more difficult option
For instance, you may aspire to take a business management course to give shape to your dream of becoming a successful business manager but are petrified of math. One option is to simply give up your dream and opt for another career. That is definitely the easy way out. The other option is to think positive, fight your fear of math, practice hard to upgrade your skills and get the help that you need.
The first and easier option will push you towards another career; while the second, more difficult option will help you build your dream career. Which one would you value more? To be stuck in a career you didn’t want … or to feel good about building the career of your dreams? No matter what your goal is, be it to launch your own company, become a fashion designer, a ballet dancer or finish your PhD … you have to keep taking consistent action towards your goal. Once you take the first step, it will be far easier for you to take the next step. But if you do nothing at all, nothing will be your result.
Be ready for the big leap
The success secret of all successful people is that they don’t just talk or visualize. They take action. When the going gets tough, they take small but steady steps … and when opportunity knocks, they are prepared to take the big jump. The key to success lies in consistently trying without quitting. It is not a stroke of luck that brings success. It is the combination of vision with the required action … one step at a time. And don’t lose heart when you start anything new. Always remember most beginnings are small and seem insignificant, but as you take each step toward your goal you become closer to achieving it.
It is extremely difficult in the beginning, so you need to push yourself and keep yourself motivated. Read inspiring self help books, encouraging quotes and watch inspirational sayings videos that offer ways to improve personal development and give you the necessary push to take action.
August 5, 2011
Is your love really deep? [How deep is it?]
By Herbert Mtowo
How much do you value your spouse? Is he or she the most valuable thing you have – a possession that is beyond any price? Song of Solomon 8:6 Set me as a signet upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm: for love [is] strong as death; jealousy [is] cruel as the grave: the coals of it [are] coals of fire, [which has a] mighty flame. 7 Many waters cannot quench love; neither can the floods drown it: if [a] man gave all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly despised. The woman in this passage cries out to be special to her husband. She wants to feel like he considers her the most valuable thing in his life.
She asks the he stamp her on his heart, in such a way that she takes the first place in his life. She asks that he places her as a mark on his arm, so that he continually sees the mark and thinks of her. This is the kind of love that the Lord intends every husband and wife to have. A love that is so consumed with the other person, that you think about them all the time, and cannot help but include them in every part of your life. Love is such a powerful force that it can overcome any obstacle in life. The poetic descriptions given here show just how powerful the force of love can be.
Love is strong as death.
Who could ever resist the power of death and tell death to go away? Yet love can be just as powerful, and when a person truly loves, that power becomes irresistible. Do you remember what it was like the first time you fell in love? You could think about little other than the one you loved. Your mind was consumed with that person. But now it does not feel quite the same does it? You have learned to take your lover for granted, and just assume he or she will be there.
Love will not let go
Who would gladly give up the one that they love? It is natural to be jealous over such a person to the point of being cruel to anyone who tries to interfere with it. You will fight with all you have to keep that person, because of your love for them. Love is a fire that burns inside of you. It burns so hard sometimes that it even hurts, and you cannot explain or control it. It is a fire out of control.
Love Cannot Be Quenched
When love is real, there is nothing that can quench it. It rages on like a forest fire that is out of control. There is nothing that anyone can say that will change the way you feel about the one you love. People may try to put you off. Circumstances may try to change your attitude. Arguments and fights might try to kill it. But true love will always continue to fight back.
Love Is Priceless
You cannot buy love nor sell it. When you love someone completely, there is nothing in this world that you will not gladly give up for that person. Yet to receive the love of another, you can offer all you have and not get it. I would like you to imagine a few things now to realize how special your husband or wife really is.
• Do you realize that by loving you, your spouse has given to you the most valuable thing in their life?
• Do you realize how blessed you are to be given freely, something that nobody else could buy?
• Do you realize the price that your lover has paid to give you their heart?
If all of this is true, then surely the least you can do is to return that love, by giving this person your whole heart without any restrictions.
What will this involve?
What will it cost?
It will cost you everything. It will involve giving up all you are and have and placing it in the hands of this one who loves you. If you are not prepared to do this, then your spouse has paid a bigger price than you are prepared to pay. Perhaps they deserve someone better than you
July 30, 2011
Hunter Hunted! [Women expert men hunters]
Herbert Mtowo
By Herbert Mtowo
A couple of weeks ago, I sat to have breakfast with a young lovely successful and intelligent woman. We spoke about so many things that relate to day today life`s experiences. This topic was born out of my breakfast meeting with this woman. Being the attentive listener that I am, I am forever grateful for the breakfast meeting talk in the confines of her home. After reading this article a lot of you men out there you will realize, we aren’t the hunters, but we are trying to hunt the great hunters of our time. And most women will concur with me, its you made the move, but would just allow us to feel big as if we made the move yet in reality you were the ones who are expertly hunted for us. We are all used to this talk,” Men are hunters. Women are responders.” But after my breakfast talk with this young lovely woman, I beg to differ and agree with her and say,” Women great hunters hunted”
A man is born strong and competent. He has great emotional fulfillment as he pursues a woman because success shows his competency. A woman is however born beautiful to attract men. The natural order is that it is men who hunt for women. My talk with to this social scientist had me wondering when she said,” Herbert, look at the animal kingdom, it’s always the women who goes hunting for food for the young ones, when she is on heat, to mate she cunningly makes her availability to the opposite sex.” Great predators of our time aren’t man but women. If a woman has no interest in you at all and doesn’t lure you, you won`t have a chance of winning her heart. The bible is full of many examples of women on the prowl and pouncing on their victims with skill and ease.
Today however it appears that there is, more and more women hunting for men. Yet this has been the case from time immemorial. The talk about women equality and empowerment has gingered women on. After all, “body no be fire wood”. Everyone needs love because that is how we are made. When a woman goes for hunting, her scheming is so subtle and deceptive that in the end, she makes the man hunt for her. Let’s face it: men (in the minds of women) are basically slugs. We can’t really help it, despite best efforts. There is innate programming in most men, making communications with women difficult, which probably predates Neolithic history. This lack of communicative capabilities can be slightly improved, but in the end, men and women have communications and behavioral differences that are not bridged very easily.
Hunted-hunter’s choice
A woman looks at the way you carry yourself, especially your self-confidence. You must take good care of yourself, including things like what you wear; belt, shoes and hairstyle which many men do not pay particular attention to. She looks at your attitude in general. You must know how to take charge and handle difficult situations wisely without giving up because security is important to women. A woman will look for integrity. If you talk of wanting to marry but do nothing, it shows you are not serious, most women will avoid you. She expects loyalty. She must feel you will not have her just for your personal benefit like sex or be nice to her only when you want something from her. She also expects you will not be afraid to share your fears and concerns. A woman loves a man with a good sense of humor. You must be able to cheer her up even in difficult situations by looking at the lighter side of life. Fun is extremely important in relationships because it has many emotional, mental and physical benefits. A woman looks for a man who has the ability to provide for her future needs. Women see money as a medium of security. She must be sure there is enough for her basic needs.
There are more hunters on the loose.
Psychologists believe that as we grow up, we develop a “love man”, which are images of people we admire like our parents, into our sub-conscious mind. This may explain why sometimes you meet someone and you feel you have known him. Some call it love at first sight. There has never been a demand for men and not just men but real man than in our generation. Believe you me there are more women out there on the prowl than ever before. I meet women in their twenties, thirties, fifties even sixties on the prowl for thee man of their heart. In churches, at work places, amongst family members’ the talk on marriage or getting a man has become the real talk all over the world. That’s why there are more and more women on the hunt and they will increase by each day.
Hunt experts of our generation-Women.
She finds a way to get your attention. She puts her best foot forward in dressing, regular greetings or sitting close to you at social functions. She may ask you to do simple tasks, including asking for a lift. Some send text messages on festive days. Some send gifts. Once she strikes acquaintance, she finds time to get in touch just to talk. Soon you may become good friends. Then she expects you to propose. If that is not happening, she puts in coated questions like “how do you feel about me?” or “where is our friendship going?” She turns the tables on the man who then proposes. She may intentionally express surprise and even some hesitation. Some call it “woman do”. She makes you believe you hunted her when in fact it was her idea from day one.
Should a woman hunt?
This is the 21st century when men match women in every human activity. There are far more eligible women than men. The relationship market has become very competitive. If you just sit expecting someone to come, time may pass by you and you will be no match for the younger and more beautiful girls. Time to get involved is now. The only way to play the game is to get to the field. If you find a man you admire and not taken, go after him and pursue him relentlessly.
When a woman goes shopping, whether for food or fashion accessories, she spends more time typically within the retail (forest) experience. Stores innately understand this difference. Most retail stores or even supermarkets have an abundance of visual stimuli. When a woman goes shopping, it’s a total sensory experience. When a man shops, it’s a singular task or goal that needs to be accomplished. The woman goes to a store and typically looks at everything, examining quality colors, textures, etc. When a woman makes a choice for man she takes her time and makes sure, she has got a her ideal man, and that’s why shopping is an experience. When a man goes “shopping” he is out to “kill” a shirt, a pair of shoes or get a six pack of beer, often making more than one trip to buy whatever he thinks he needs. Shopping for a man is a task as much as getting the ideal woman. But for the skilled hunter expert woman of today, she lies eyes wide open checking on whom to pounce on.
Make the choice than be chosen.
It is better to try and fail than to live the rest of your life regretting about your failure to get your heart’s desire. Put aside your ego and traditional norms. Hunt for your heart’s desire. You will be glad you did. Perhaps, men have not advanced as far as women in modern society. Or perhaps women are unrealistic in their expectations of what a relationship between men and women is supposed to be. In any event, the battle of the sexes continues. Welcome to the animal kingdom ladies and gentlemen. You either get the ideal choice or you get the jungle`s left spoils. To all men out there get it right you were the one who was hunted and not the other way round.
Bigger picture
We live in a quick-fix society, bottom line. Nobody wants to put in the work to fix what is wrong with their lives anymore. We take diet pills to lose weight, get plastic surgery to change our appearance, and in general, take as many shortcuts as possible to find happiness. Divorce may be the most common shortcut of all, yet most women fail to recognize that it is in fact, a shortcut. I think that divorce is even worse than that. In most cases, divorce is a blatant escape mechanism, a convenient out to evade the pain of a relationship audit. A relationship audit is a great tool to improve your rapport with your mate. Think about it, you can either learn how to be a better partner to your significant other through trial and error, or you can take control now and pinpoint crucial flaws that demand correction. The tools on women hunting women are effective because they shed light on the aspects of relationships that women need to master in order to achieve stability and relative contentment with their mate.
July 23, 2011
Be there for other people.
By Ed Robinson
The secret to happiness has always been through giving not getting. There are few things more important than being there for other people in your life when they need you. Life can be a hard at times. At some point, everyone will need a shoulder to lean on, someone they can confide in and maybe even a helping hand. Sadly, many of us suppress our feelings and resist asking for help because we are worried by how it will be perceived by others rather than finding strength through them.
I’ve always believed you get a true sense of a person when they are managing through adversity rather than riding the wave of good fortune. It’s easy to put on a happy face when things are going well. However, some people do seem to get an inflated sense of self and become too judgmental of others when things go their way. When you are down on your luck it becomes much easier to get a sense of your own vulnerability. We are all human and human beings need respect, love and support. “No man is an island.”
Instead of narrowing your circle I encourage you to broaden the number of people in your life you care about. Rather than spending too much of your times worrying about your own happiness or lack thereof seek opportunities to help others. Resist rushing to judgment and strive to be more compassionate and empathetic. Ask people how they feel and what they need and genuinely mean it. Actions always speak much louder than words.
We are all on this ride called life together. Ultimately what happens to your neighbor does affect you. The greater the distance the more subtle the impact but it is still there nonetheless. You can do what most people do and avoid or criticize the situation or you can try and make a positive difference in someone else’s life when they need you (especially when it is difficult to do so). It’s a good idea to remember that life has a way of humbling us all.
June 28, 2011
May 24, 2011
Cut the cord
Cut the Cord
‘ON THE DAY YOU WERE BORN YOUR CORD WAS NOT CUT…’ EZEKIEL 16:4.
Are you still tied to the things of your past? Are you still being fed emotionally by relationships that need to be severed? You’ll only cut the cord when you realize that you can get what you need from a better source. Paul speaks of ‘…His power that is at work within us’ (Ephesians 3:20). What is that power? It’s the God-given ability to cut the cord that ties you to the old mud-holes of yesterday. If a pig and
a sheep fall into the same mud, one will wallow and the other will try to get out.
That’s because their natures are different. Whether you fell into the mud or were dragged back into it is not the issue. Your new nature won’t let you stay there. It’ll cry, ‘I don’t belong here! I want to get out! Help me Lord!’ ‘But I’ve really blown it this time!’ you say. Listen to these words from a man whose failures make yours look like charitable deeds: ‘When I kept it all inside … the pressure never let up … then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to God.” Suddenly pressure was gone – my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared’ (Psalm 32:3-5). Pronounce ‘the last rites’ over your failures, forgive those who’ve hurt you, cut the cord that connects you to the past, and start moving forward.
Herbert Mtowo
November 16, 2010
Unbinding Foolishness
Unbinding Foolishness
by Debi Pearl, October 2009
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Last week I had a herd of children running in and out of my house and the NGJ office. I am no longer as acclimated to the rambling chaos of toddlers and tikes as I was when my children were young, so the simultaneous movement and noise of 18 children seven years old and under seemed like just a nonstop spinning blur. The best I could do was occasionally focus my mind on one child—in other words, manage to see one tree instead of the forest.
After a few minutes of observation I realized that before me was a complete spectrum of behavioral issues. There was downright
disobedience, which is rare in our circle. Then there was the bad attitude, which gets more common around naptime. And there was the aggressive kid, needing to be controlled, and the whining sissy wanting to be coddled, and the wild-haired kid who has had too much red dye or sugar. And then there was the foolish child, the most disturbing of all.
Often the most endearing child is the foolish one. She can be obedient and kind, not a loudmouth…she just acts silly. She might take unwise chances, such as standing on the slide making stupid faces until she loses her balance and falls, hurting herself.
I say her, but usually the most foolish child is male. Parents usually overlook the foolishness because the child is not rebellious, mean, bitter, or hurtful to others—just silly and childlike beyond his age. Maybe that is the reason God very specifically addresses this area of ugly childhood behavior and tells parents exactly how to respond. God says, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” This verse is found in Proverbs 22, the same chapter that features the famous child training verse, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” I often hear parents of rebellious older children wonder why their child departed from their careful training. Many of these parents forgot to consider and obey the verse just a few verses down the page. The foolishness bound in the heart of their child has never been driven out.
Some parents are heavy-handed and can take the fun and warmth out of sunshine. This will only lead your children to anger. Don’t
misunderstand me and become overbearing and critical; then you will be the foolish one. A child knows when he is acting like a fool. Don’t be mad and take offense. Be wise and deal with it like God commands. As a child grows, his unrestrained foolishness will progress from amusing to irritating to embarrassing. You wish you could just shut the door and hide his behavior, and many parents eventually do shut the door, so to speak, on their foolish, stupid clown of a kid. When you fail to drive the foolishness out of a young child, he will develop
embarrassing habits that become very difficult to control. Then you have two big problems: a foolish, silly kid and an angry, hurt child, feeling his rejection. Your task is then much larger; you must both discipline and heal.
It is so much easier to check foolish behavior while the child is yet young. If you catch him acting silly or irresponsible, then rebuke and spank as needed to produce sobriety. When you see him do a dumb thing and you know he knows better (or at least should know better,) communicate the seriousness of your concern with a spanking. If your child risks life or limb in a foolish stunt, as I saw my own sons do when they were little, follow their daddy’s example. I have seen Mike say to them, “OK, you want to risk getting hurt, I will show you what hurt feels like.” And then he spanked them soundly. Next time they thought twice before showing off in a dangerous manner. If you are visiting in a home and your child goes through the drawers or cabinets, communicate with a switch that it is not an acceptable practice. If your five-year-old spills a bag of nuts out on the car seat when she could have sealed the bag shut, let your rebuke be accompanied by a couple swift swats with the rod of your choice. Good habits are made, not born. If your children gorge on junk, even to the point of stealing food and hiding, know this: it is better to set them free from bad habits now than for them to struggle all their lives with being overweight and sickly. A few licks will remind them that overeating hurts. It will help shape lifetime habits.
But parents, use common sense. Feed a hungry child when he is hungry; don’t cause him to be tempted above that which he is able. When you allow children to get so hungry they want to sneak around to satisfy their hunger, you are training them to be thieves and liars. Instead of being trained to walk in truth, they are being trained to walk in deceit. For every thirty slacker parents who allow their children to overeat, there is one parent who is legalistic in demanding austerity in the child’s diet. Ask God for wisdom and listen to the advice of those around you.
Children are not all necessarily rebellious, loud, selfish, mean, aggressive, bossy, whiny, or moody. But all children have foolishness bound in their hearts, and they all need to be freed from the bondage that will drag them down their entire lives. Give your children the gifts of wisdom, sobriety, and a sound mind; drive foolishness far from them. My mom always said that a slender willow switch works wonders. I say it works miracles. If you have misgivings about the proper application of the rod,.
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